My Husband Is Forcing Me to Get Pregnant, Legal Rights, Domestic Abuse Laws, and How to Get Help

If your husband is trying to force you to get pregnant, you are experiencing reproductive coercion—a recognized form of domestic abuse under US law. No one can legally force you to become pregnant against your will. Reproductive coercion includes sabotaging birth control, refusing to use condoms, pressuring you into pregnancy, removing contraceptive devices without consent, or threatening harm if you don’t comply. 

California became the first state to legally recognize reproductive coercion in 2021, defining it as controlling reproductive autonomy through force, threat, or intimidation. You have legal rights including protection orders, criminal charges against your abuser, confidential contraception options, and immediate access to domestic violence resources. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for 24/7 confidential support.

What Is Reproductive Coercion?

Reproductive coercion is behavior that interferes with your autonomous decision-making about reproductive health. It’s when someone controls whether, when, or how you become pregnant—removing your ability to make your own choices about your body.

The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) recognizes reproductive coercion as a serious public health issue, recommending that physicians screen patients for it periodically, including at annual examinations and prenatal care.

Forms of Reproductive Coercion:

Pregnancy Pressure or Coercion:

• Constantly talking about having children
• Making you feel guilty for not wanting children
• Threatening to leave if you don’t get pregnant
• Emotional manipulation about pregnancy
• Threatening harm if you don’t become pregnant
• Withholding financial support unless you agree to pregnancy

Birth Control Sabotage:

• Hiding, destroying, or flushing your birth control pills
• Poking holes in condoms
• Removing your IUD or other contraceptive device without consent
• Refusing to wear condoms when you request it
• Lying about using withdrawal (“pulling out”)
• Preventing you from seeing a doctor or accessing contraception
• Withholding money to prevent birth control purchase
• Replacing birth control pills with sugar pills

Controlling Pregnancy Outcomes:

• Forcing you to continue a pregnancy you want to terminate
• Pressuring or forcing abortion when you want to keep the pregnancy
• Sabotaging abortion appointments
• Withholding funds for abortion procedures
• Physically preventing you from accessing reproductive healthcare

Research shows that 5-14% of women in family planning clinic settings report reproductive coercion, and lifetime experience has been reported by 8-30% of women in various US settings.

Why Reproductive Coercion Is Domestic Abuse

Reproductive coercion is domestic violence because it’s about power and control. Your partner is exerting control over your body, your health decisions, and your future.

Homicide is a leading cause of death for pregnant women in abusive relationships, and physical abuse often increases when someone in an abusive relationship becomes pregnant.

Connection to Other Abuse: One-third of women experiencing reproductive coercion also face physical abuse from the same partner. Reproductive coercion rarely exists alone—it’s usually part of a larger pattern of controlling behavior.

Why Abusers Use Pregnancy as Control:

• To trap you in the relationship
• To make you financially dependent
• To make you less attractive to potential new partners
• To ensure ongoing connection even if you leave
• To exert power over your body and decisions
• To prevent you from leaving (childcare responsibilities, custody threats)

Legal Recognition: Which States Protect Against Reproductive Coercion

California became the first state to legally recognize reproductive coercion in 2021 through California Senate Bill 374, making it a basis for civil protection orders.

California Law (Effective 2021): California Family Code §6320 defines reproductive coercion as “control over the reproductive autonomy of another through force, threat of force, or intimidation.” This includes:

• Unreasonably pressuring someone to become pregnant
• Deliberately interfering with contraception use or access
• Using coercive tactics to control pregnancy outcomes

California law classifies reproductive coercion as “coercive control,” which is legally recognized as domestic violence and grounds for protection orders.

Other State Laws: While California leads in explicit legal recognition, many states implicitly include reproductive coercion under broader domestic violence definitions:

• New York, Hawaii, California: Have criminalized coercive control, which can include reproductive coercion
• Most states: Include “threats,” “intimidation,” and “controlling behavior” in domestic violence statutes, which can cover reproductive coercion
• Federal law: The Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) provides protections for victims of intimate partner violence, which encompasses reproductive coercion

Your Legal Rights When Facing Reproductive Coercion

1. You Cannot Be Forced to Become Pregnant No one has the legal right to force you into pregnancy. Your body, your choice. Forced pregnancy violates your fundamental rights to bodily autonomy and reproductive freedom.

2. You Can Obtain a Protection Order In California and increasingly other states, reproductive coercion is explicit grounds for a domestic violence restraining order. Even where not explicitly stated, you can seek protection orders based on:

• Threats
• Harassment
• Intimidation
• Controlling behavior
• Fear for your safety

3. Criminal Charges May Apply Depending on the specific behavior, your husband could face criminal charges including:

• Sexual assault or rape (if forcing sexual activity)
• Battery (if physically removing contraceptive devices)
• Stalking or harassment
• Criminal threats
• Coercive control (in states that have criminalized it)
• Domestic violence

4. You Have Privacy Rights Your reproductive healthcare is confidential. Your doctor cannot share information about your birth control, pregnancy status, or healthcare decisions with your partner without your consent.

5. Access to Confidential Contraception Healthcare providers can offer discreet, hard-to-detect contraceptive methods:

• IUDs with shorter strings
• Birth control implants
• Birth control injections (Depo-Provera)
• Emergency contraception
• Birth control pills in anonymous packaging

What the Law Says About Forced Pregnancy

Federal Level: No federal law specifically criminalizes reproductive coercion, but related behaviors may violate:

• Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) protections
• Sexual assault and rape laws
• Interstate stalking laws
• Domestic violence statutes

State Level: Laws vary by state, but forced pregnancy-related behaviors can constitute:

• Domestic violence
• Sexual assault (if involving forced sexual activity)
• Battery (if involving physical force)
• Criminal coercion or intimidation
• Stalking or harassment

Since the Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization decision in 2022, calls about reproductive coercion to the National Domestic Violence Hotline have nearly doubled, and more than 27,000 people reported non-consensual sex with an intimate partner.

How to Protect Yourself: Immediate Steps

If You’re in Immediate Danger:

• Call 911 immediately
• Leave the situation if safe to do so
• Go to a trusted friend or family member’s home
• Contact a domestic violence shelter

Confidential Help Resources:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (24/7, confidential)
• Text “START” to 88788 for text support
• National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673
• StrongHearts Native Helpline: 1-844-762-8483 (for Native Americans)
• TTY for Deaf/Hard of Hearing: 1-855-812-1001

Talk to Your Healthcare Provider: Schedule an appointment with your OB/GYN and tell them what’s happening. They are trained to help and can:

• Provide confidential contraception options
• Document abuse for legal purposes
• Connect you with domestic violence resources
• Offer harm-reduction strategies
• Help you create a safety plan

ACOG recommends screening questions: “Has your partner ever forced you to do something sexually that you did not want to do? Has your partner ever refused your request to use condoms? Has your partner ever tried to get you pregnant when you did not want to be?”

Discreet Contraception Options: Ask your doctor about:

• IUD (intrauterine device): Lasts 3-10 years, no daily action needed
• Contraceptive implant (Nexplanon): Inserted in arm, lasts 3 years
• Depo-Provera injection: Given every 3 months
• Emergency contraception: Plan B or ella (available without prescription)

Healthcare providers can help you conceal contraceptive methods for your safety.

Creating a Safety Plan

A safety plan is a personalized, practical plan to stay safe while in an abusive relationship, when preparing to leave, or after you leave.

Key Elements:

1. Safe spaces: Identify rooms with exits and without weapons
2. Code word: Establish a signal with trusted friends/family for when you need help
3. Important documents: Keep copies of ID, birth certificate, insurance cards, bank info
4. Emergency contacts: Program trusted numbers into your phone under disguised names
5. Safe places: Identify where you can go in an emergency (shelter, friend’s house)
6. Money: Set aside emergency cash if possible
7. Contraception: Secure hidden birth control if safe to do so

Document the Abuse:

• Keep a journal with dates, times, and specific incidents
• Save threatening text messages and emails
• Take photos of injuries or damaged property
• Tell trusted friends or family what’s happening
• Report incidents to police when safe

Legal Actions You Can Take

1. File for a Domestic Violence Protection Order (Restraining Order) A protection order can:

• Require your partner to stay away from you
• Prohibit contact (calls, texts, emails, social media)
• Remove him from your shared residence
• Grant temporary custody of children
• Require him to surrender firearms
• Order him to attend counseling

How to Get a Protection Order:

• Go to your county courthouse (family court or domestic violence court)
• Fill out petition forms (advocates can help)
• See a judge (often same day for temporary orders)
• Attend a hearing (usually within 10-21 days) for permanent order

2. Report to Law Enforcement You can file a police report for:

• Sexual assault or rape
• Battery or physical assault
• Criminal threats
• Stalking or harassment
• Violation of protection orders

3. Seek Victim Compensation Many states offer victim compensation funds for:

• Medical expenses
• Counseling services
• Lost wages
• Relocation costs
• Legal fees

4. Consult a Family Law Attorney An attorney can help with:

• Divorce proceedings
• Custody arrangements
• Child support
• Spousal support
• Property division
• Protection orders

Many domestic violence organizations offer free legal assistance or can refer you to pro bono attorneys.

What Healthcare Providers Should Know

The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists recommends screening for reproductive and sexual coercion at periodic intervals including annual examinations, new patient visits, and during obstetric care.

Screening Questions for Healthcare Providers:

• Has a current or former partner not let you use birth control, destroyed your birth control, or refused to wear a condom?
• Has your partner ever tried to get you pregnant when you didn’t want to be?
• Has your partner ever forced you to have an abortion or caused you to have a miscarriage?
• Are you worried your partner will hurt you if you don’t follow their wishes regarding pregnancy?
• Does your partner support your decisions about when or whether you want to become pregnant?

Healthcare Provider Interventions:

• Educate patients about reproductive coercion and safety planning
• Offer harm-reduction strategies
• Provide discreet contraception methods (IUDs, implants, injections)
• Document abuse for potential legal proceedings
• Connect patients with domestic violence advocates
• Maintain strict confidentiality

Family planning interventions focused on awareness of reproductive coercion reduced pregnancy coercion by 71% among women who experienced intimate partner violence.

Impact of Reproductive Coercion on Victims

Physical Health Consequences:

• Unintended pregnancies
• Sexually transmitted infections (STIs)
• Complications from unsafe pregnancies
• Preterm births and low birth weight babies
• Maternal mortality risk

Mental Health Consequences:

• Depression and anxiety
• Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
• Substance abuse
• Suicide attempts
• Loss of control over one’s body and life

Social and Economic Consequences:

• Financial dependence on abuser
• Inability to leave abusive relationship
• Isolation from family and friends
• Educational and career disruptions
• Long-term economic instability

Pregnant women who are survivors of abuse are more likely to give birth to preterm babies with lower birth weights, and mothers are less likely to nurse or bond with them.

Post-Dobbs Legal Landscape and Reproductive Coercion

Since the Supreme Court’s Dobbs decision reversed Roe v. Wade in June 2022, abortion restrictions in many states have increased barriers for survivors of reproductive coercion trying to escape abusive relationships.

How Abortion Restrictions Affect Survivors:

• Survivors in states with abortion bans may be forced to carry pregnancies to term
• Abusers can use abortion restrictions as additional tools of control
• Increased difficulty accessing reproductive healthcare
• Higher financial and logistical barriers (travel, time off work)
• Greater risk of maternal mortality in restrictive states

Researchers calculated that more than 64,000 pregnancies resulted from rape between July 1, 2022 and January 1, 2024 in states where abortion has been banned.

State-by-State Variations:

• 13 states: Near-total abortion bans
• Several states: Severe restrictions (6-week bans, mandatory waiting periods)
• Some states: Protected abortion access in state constitutions
• 27 states: No statutes protecting rape victims from custody claims by their rapists

If You’re Pregnant as a Result of Reproductive Coercion

You Have Options:

1. Continue the pregnancy
2. Seek abortion services (where legally available)
3. Consider adoption

You do not owe anyone an explanation for your decision.

Access to Abortion:

• Abortion remains legal in many states despite Dobbs decision
• Organizations like Planned Parenthood can help navigate state-specific laws
• Abortion funds exist to help with costs and logistics
• Some states protect patients from other states seeking abortion care

Financial Assistance:

• National Network of Abortion Funds: abortionfunds.org
• Planned Parenthood financial assistance programs
• State-specific abortion access organizations

Support During Pregnancy:

• Prenatal care (even in abusive relationships, maintain healthcare access)
• Domestic violence shelters that support pregnant women
• Social services and public assistance programs
• Adoption agencies (if considering this option)

Male Victims of Reproductive Coercion

While women are most commonly affected, men can also experience reproductive coercion.

Examples for Male Victims:

• Partner lies about using birth control
• Partner tampers with condoms or sabotages contraception
• Partner becomes pregnant intentionally without partner’s knowledge
• Partner lies about fertility status
• Partner pressures or forces abortion when man wants the pregnancy

Research shows that 15.3% of female and 17.5% of male domestic violence victims reported experiencing reproductive coercion, and 8.6% of female victims and 15.1% of male victims reported that their partner tried for a non-mutual pregnancy.

Male victims can also seek protection orders, file police reports, and access domestic violence resources.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Is it illegal for my husband to force me to get pregnant?

Yes. Forcing someone into pregnancy through coercion, threats, or force is domestic abuse. Specific criminal charges depend on the conduct (sexual assault, battery, criminal threats, etc.), but the behavior is illegal.

Q: Can I get a restraining order for reproductive coercion? 

Yes. California explicitly recognizes reproductive coercion as grounds for protection orders. Other states may grant orders based on threats, harassment, intimidation, or domestic violence.

Q: What if he sabotages my birth control? 

Birth control sabotage is reproductive coercion and domestic abuse. Document the incidents, tell your healthcare provider, and consider filing a police report and seeking a protection order.

Q: Will my doctor tell my husband about my birth control? 

No. Your reproductive healthcare is confidential. Healthcare providers cannot share this information without your explicit consent. HIPAA protects your medical privacy.

Q: What if we’re married? Can he force me to have sex to get pregnant?

 No. Marital rape is illegal in all 50 states. Marriage does not give anyone the right to force sexual activity. Forced sex—even within marriage—is rape.

Q: Can I be charged with anything if I secretly use birth control? 

No. You have the legal right to control your own reproductive health, including using contraception without your partner’s knowledge or consent. Using birth control is not illegal.

Q: What if he threatens to leave me if I don’t get pregnant? 

This is emotional coercion and manipulation. You have the right to make your own reproductive choices. Threats designed to pressure you into pregnancy constitute reproductive coercion.

Q: How do I prove reproductive coercion in court? 

Evidence includes: text messages or emails discussing pregnancy pressure, medical records showing birth control sabotage injuries, witness testimony from friends/family, documentation of threats, police reports, and your own testimony.

You Are Not Alone

Reproductive coercion is abuse. It’s not your fault. You deserve to make your own decisions about your body and your future.

Immediate Help:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
• Text START to 88788
• Online chat: thehotline.org
• 911 for emergencies

Additional Resources:

• WomensLaw.org: State-specific legal information
• Futures Without Violence: Training and resources
• Planned Parenthood: Reproductive healthcare and support
• RAINN: 1-800-656-4673 (sexual assault support)
• National Coalition Against Domestic Violence: ncadv.org

You have legal rights. You have options. Help is available 24/7.

Disclaimer: This article provides general legal information and is not legal advice. Laws vary by state. For specific legal guidance about your situation, consult a licensed attorney in your jurisdiction or contact a domestic violence legal advocate.

Sources:

• American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG)
• The National Domestic Violence Hotline
• WomensLaw.org – Reproductive Abuse and Coercion
• California Family Violence Prevention and Services Act
• UT Southwestern Medical Center – Reproductive Coercion
• PBS News – Reproductive Coercion Post-Roe
• CASA Pinellas – Reproductive Coercion Warning Signs
• Journal of Law, Medicine & Ethics – Legally Recognizing Reproductive Coercion

About the Author

Sarah Klein, JD, is a former family law attorney with over a decade of courtroom and mediation experience. She has represented clients in divorce, custody cases, adoption, Alimony, and domestic violence cases across multiple U.S. jurisdictions.
At All About Lawyer, Sarah now uses her deep legal background to create easy-to-understand guides that help families navigate the legal system with clarity and confidence.
Every article is based on her real-world legal experience and reviewed to reflect current laws.
Read more about Sarah