Can I Sue My Wife for Getting Pregnant by Another Man?
No, you cannot sue your wife for getting pregnant by another man in most US states. Spousal tort immunity, the abolition of “criminal conversation” laws in most jurisdictions, and high barriers for emotional distress claims make such lawsuits nearly impossible. Only seven states—Hawaii, Illinois, Mississippi, New Mexico, North Carolina, South Dakota, and Utah—still allow limited tort claims for infidelity, and even there, success rates are low. Your legal remedies lie in divorce proceedings where infidelity may affect alimony, property division, and custody.
Can You Actually Sue Your Wife for Infidelity?
The Reality: Most US states have abolished tort claims for spousal infidelity.
Why Tort Claims Don’t Exist
Spousal Tort Immunity Abolished Heart Balm Laws: At least 29 states have eliminated “heart balm” torts by statute, and four more abolished them judicially.
“Criminal Conversation” Nearly Gone: Only seven U.S. states allow alienation of affection and criminal conversation lawsuits – Hawaii, Illinois, Mississippi, New Mexico, North Carolina, South Dakota, and Utah.
Modern Legal Philosophy: Courts determined these torts “promote outdated ideas related to ownership and control in marriage.”
States That Explicitly Abolished These Claims
- New York: NY Civil Rights Law § 80-a abolished causes of action for alienation of affections, criminal conversation, seduction and breach of contract to marry
- California: No tort action for adultery or infidelity
- Florida: Abolished alienation of affection and criminal conversation
- Texas: Does not recognize heart balm torts
- Illinois: No alienation of affection claims recognized
Criminal Conversation: The Seven States That Still Allow It
What Is Criminal Conversation?
A civil tort (not a criminal charge) that allows you to sue your spouse’s lover for having sex with your spouse during your marriage.
Requirements to Sue
North Carolina (most active jurisdiction):
- Valid marriage existed
- Defendant had sexual intercourse with your spouse during marriage
- Conduct occurred before date of separation
- Must file within three years of last act
- No showing of love/affection required (unlike alienation of affection)
Evidence Needed:
- Photos or videos from private investigators
- Hotel receipts
- Text messages and emails
- Phone records showing frequent contact
- Witness testimony
Who Can You Sue?
Important: You sue the third party (your spouse’s lover), not your spouse directly for the affair itself.
Damages Available:
- Compensatory damages (loss of consortium, emotional distress)
- Punitive damages (if conduct was particularly egregious)
- Courts may award only the higher amount if both criminal conversation and alienation of affection are claimed
Recent Case Outcomes
North Carolina leads in criminal conversation cases. One notable case awarded a wife $9 million from her husband’s mistress. However, courts have expressed increasing disfavor for these claims.
Legislative Trends: North Carolina lawmakers considered abolishing these torts in 2021, though the effort failed.
Emotional Distress Claims: High Barriers to Recovery
Can You Sue for Emotional Distress?
Potentially, but success is extremely rare. You must prove Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress (IIED).
Requirements for IIED
“Outrageous” Conduct Standard:
- Conduct must be “beyond mere insults or annoyances”
- Must rise to level “average person would find atrocious or intolerable”
- Deliberate and calculated to cause severe distress
Pregnancy by another man alone typically doesn’t meet this threshold.
What Courts Consider “Outrageous”
May Qualify:
- Public humiliation combined with infidelity
- Forcing spouse to witness affair
- Using marital funds extensively for affair partner
- Transmitting STDs knowingly (assault/battery claim)
Generally Doesn’t Qualify:
- Simply having an affair
- Pregnancy resulting from affair
- Emotional pain from discovering infidelity
Evidence Required
- Medical documentation of severe emotional distress
- Expert psychiatric testimony
- Proof of PTSD, anxiety disorders, or other diagnoses
- Evidence linking distress directly to specific conduct
Reality Check: Courts rarely find simple infidelity sufficiently “outrageous” to support IIED claims.
Spousal Tort Immunity: What It Means
Historical Background
Historically, spouses couldn’t sue each other because of “legal unity”—wife’s identity merged with husband’s upon marriage.
Modern Status
Most states have abolished interspousal immunity, meaning spouses can sue each other for torts like:
- Assault and battery (domestic violence)
- Negligence (car accidents)
- Fraud (concealing assets)
- Intentional infliction of emotional distress (if truly outrageous)
However: Abolishing immunity doesn’t mean infidelity becomes actionable. States that eliminated immunity simultaneously abolished heart balm torts as outdated.
States With Remaining Limitations
Some states maintain limited immunity or require divorce before filing certain tort claims:
- New Jersey: “Single controversy doctrine” requires raising tort claims during divorce
- Texas: Certain limitations on when spousal torts can be filed
- Insurance exclusions may prevent recovery even if tort claim succeeds
How Infidelity Actually Affects Divorce Outcomes
Your real legal remedies exist in divorce proceedings, not separate tort claims.
Alimony and Spousal Support
States Where Adultery Matters:
Georgia: Adultery is a complete bar to alimony if it caused the separation. The cheating spouse receives no alimony.
Pennsylvania: The court may reduce or deny alimony to a spouse who committed adultery, considering the adultery as marital misconduct. Particularly relevant if adultery caused financial or emotional harm.
Tennessee: Adultery affects alimony determination. Opportunity and inclination to cheat can be sufficient—physical evidence not always required.
Louisiana: Adultery bars final periodic support but doesn’t affect temporary alimony during divorce proceedings.
North Carolina: Adultery can bar alimony and supports separate tort claims.
States Where Adultery Has Limited/No Effect:
California: No-fault state. Adultery rarely affects alimony unless marital funds were spent on the affair.
New York: A spouse’s fault (such as adultery) isn’t on the list, but the law allows judges to consider any other factors that they find would be fair and appropriate.
Illinois: No-fault divorce approach. Infidelity doesn’t directly impact alimony decisions.
Florida: No-fault state, but adultery can be considered when determining alimony amount.
Property Division
Generally: Adultery does not affect property division in most states.
Exception: Courts may adjust division if spouse dissipated marital assets on the affair:
- Hotel rooms, gifts, vacations for affair partner
- Credit card debt from affair expenses
- Depletion of joint accounts
Remedy: Innocent spouse may receive larger share of marital estate to compensate for dissipated assets. Consider hiring forensic accountant to track spending.
Child Custody
Generally: Adultery has minimal impact on custody unless it affects child’s welfare.
May Affect Custody If:
- Exposing children to inappropriate situations
- Neglecting children to conduct affair
- Bringing unstable partners around children
- Using affair to manipulate or harm children
Won’t Affect Custody:
- Simple fact of having affair
- Pregnancy by another man (unless affects parenting)
Child Support
Never Affected: Child support calculations are formula-based on parental income and number of children. Infidelity is irrelevant.
Paternity and Child Support Implications
Pregnancy by another man raises separate legal issues from tort claims.
Who Pays Child Support?
Marital Presumption: Husband is presumed legal father if child born during marriage or within 300 days of divorce in most states.
Legal vs. Biological Father: Support obligations follow legal paternity, not biology.
Your Options
- Challenge Paternity: File disestablishment petition with DNA evidence (strict deadlines apply—often 1-2 years)
- Request DNA Testing: During divorce proceedings, not after
- Establish Biological Father’s Paternity: Through court action
Critical: Address paternity during divorce. Final judgments may preclude later challenges.
State-by-State Summary
| State | Criminal Conversation | Emotional Distress | Adultery Affects Alimony | Property Division |
| North Carolina | Yes – 3 year limit | Possible but difficult | Yes – can bar completely | No (unless dissipation) |
| Georgia | No | Possible but difficult | Yes – complete bar if caused separation | No (unless dissipation) |
| California | No | Possible but difficult | Rarely | No (unless dissipation) |
| New York | Abolished | Possible but difficult | Limited consideration | No (unless dissipation) |
| Florida | No | Possible but difficult | Factor in amount | No (unless dissipation) |
| Texas | No | Possible but difficult | Limited | No (unless dissipation) |
| Pennsylvania | No | Possible but difficult | Yes – may reduce/deny | No (unless dissipation) |
| Hawaii | Yes | Possible but difficult | Varies | No (unless dissipation) |
| Illinois | Yes (rarely used) | Possible but difficult | No (no-fault state) | No (unless dissipation) |
Your Actual Legal Options
1. File for Divorce
Fault-Based Grounds (if your state allows):
- Adultery as grounds for divorce
- May affect alimony determination
- Won’t affect property division unless assets dissipated
No-Fault Grounds:
- Irreconcilable differences
- Simpler process, lower costs
- Still address financial consequences
2. Document Financial Harm
Track Marital Asset Dissipation:
- Credit card statements
- Bank records
- Hotel receipts, gifts to affair partner
- Travel expenses
Hire Forensic Accountant: Essential for complex financial situations or hidden assets.
3. Address Paternity Immediately
- File DNA testing motion during divorce
- Don’t wait until after final judgment
- Challenge paternity before it’s legally established
- Avoid actions creating paternity by estoppel
4. Negotiate Settlement
Leverage Infidelity:
- More favorable property division
- Higher alimony (if you’re innocent spouse)
- Better custody arrangements
- Attorney’s fees from guilty spouse
Privacy Concerns: Cheating spouse may settle favorably to avoid public disclosure.
5. Consider Criminal Conversation (If Available)
Only in Seven States: Hawaii, Illinois, Mississippi, New Mexico, North Carolina, South Dakota, Utah
Requirements:
- Sue affair partner (not spouse)
- Prove sexual intercourse during marriage
- File within statute of limitations (typically 3 years)
- Prepare for expensive litigation
Realistic Assessment: Even in states allowing it, success requires significant evidence and legal expense.
What You Should Do Now
Immediate Steps
- Consult Divorce Attorney: Understand your state’s specific laws and realistic outcomes
- Document Everything: Financial records, communications, evidence of affair
- Protect Assets: Separate accounts, monitor spending, prevent further dissipation
- Request Paternity Testing: If pregnancy is factor, act immediately
- Don’t Confront Violently: Assault/battery charges hurt your custody case
What Won’t Work
- Suing your wife for emotional distress (rarely successful)
- Suing for “damages” from pregnancy (no legal basis in most states)
- Attempting criminal charges (adultery is decriminalized in most states)
- Delaying paternity challenge (strict deadlines)
What Might Work
- Divorce with adultery as fault ground (where applicable)
- Claiming larger marital estate share due to dissipated assets
- Seeking reduced/eliminated alimony for cheating spouse
- Disestablishing paternity for child not yours
- Criminal conversation claim (only seven states, expensive)
Key Takeaways
You cannot sue your wife for pregnancy by another man in 43+ states. Heart balm torts are abolished.
Criminal conversation exists in only seven states and requires proof of sexual intercourse during marriage.
Emotional distress claims rarely succeed unless conduct was truly outrageous beyond simple infidelity.
Your real remedies are in divorce court where adultery may affect alimony, property division, and custody.
Paternity must be challenged immediately during divorce proceedings with strict deadlines.
Financial consequences can be addressed through claims of asset dissipation and forensic accounting.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can I sue the man who got my wife pregnant?
Only if you live in Hawaii, Illinois, Mississippi, New Mexico, North Carolina, South Dakota, or Utah—and only for “criminal conversation,” which requires proving sexual intercourse during your marriage. You’ll need substantial evidence and should expect expensive litigation. Most states have abolished these claims entirely.
What if my wife’s infidelity gave me an STD?
This may support an assault and battery claim or intentional infliction of emotional distress claim—separate from infidelity itself. The key is the knowing transmission of disease, which goes beyond simple adultery. Consult a personal injury attorney about tort claims for STD transmission.
Will I have to pay child support for a child that isn’t mine?
Potentially yes, if the child is born during your marriage. Most states presume you’re the legal father if married to the mother. You must challenge paternity during divorce proceedings with DNA evidence. If you miss the deadline (often 1-2 years), you may be permanently responsible regardless of biology.
How much can I win in a criminal conversation lawsuit?
Damages vary widely. North Carolina has seen awards from nominal amounts to $9 million. Typical awards range from $50,000 to several hundred thousand dollars. However, collecting judgments can be difficult, and litigation costs often exceed $50,000.
Can I sue for emotional distress even if my state doesn’t allow criminal conversation?
Theoretically yes, but success is extremely rare. Courts require proof that conduct was “outrageous” and went beyond typical infidelity. Simple adultery, even resulting in pregnancy, usually doesn’t meet this threshold. You’d need evidence of extreme, calculated cruelty beyond the affair itself.
Does adultery affect child custody?
Rarely. Courts focus on children’s best interests, not parents’ marital conduct. Adultery only affects custody if it directly impacts parenting—such as exposing children to unsafe situations, neglecting them during affair, or creating unstable environment. The affair alone won’t change custody.
Can I get more of our assets because she cheated?
Maybe, if she dissipated marital assets on the affair (gifts, hotels, vacations for affair partner). Courts may award you a larger share to compensate for these losses. However, adultery itself doesn’t change property division—only the financial waste it caused. Hire forensic accountant to track spending.
This article provides general legal information. State laws vary significantly. Consult a family law attorney in your state for advice specific to your situation.
Legal References:
- Cornell Law School, Wex Legal Information Institute
- NY Civil Rights Law § 80-a
- NY Domestic Relations Law § 236
- North Carolina General Statutes § 52-13
- Georgia Code § 19-6-1
- Pennsylvania marital misconduct statutes
- Waite v. Waite, 618 So. 2d 1360 (Fla. 1993) – abolishing interspousal immunity
- State bar associations family law resources
Last Updated: December 2025
About the Author
Sarah Klein, JD, is a former family law attorney with over a decade of courtroom and mediation experience. She has represented clients in divorce, custody cases, adoption, Alimony, and domestic violence cases across multiple U.S. jurisdictions.
At All About Lawyer, Sarah now uses her deep legal background to create easy-to-understand guides that help families navigate the legal system with clarity and confidence.
Every article is based on her real-world legal experience and reviewed to reflect current laws.
Read more about Sarah